A Trunk Full of Odd Noodles: 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Recruitment

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the Accounts Department.

If they are recounting them.. Put them in Auditing ..

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in Engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in Planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in Operations.

If they are sleeping. Put them in Security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in Information Technology.

If they are sitting idle. Put them in Human Resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day. Put them in Marketing...

If they are staring out of the window. Put them on Strategic Planning..

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them

In Top Management

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

See How Smart You Really Are

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. Clever creatures can answer them instantaneously without delay. So remember to answer the questions as quickly as possible.

Scroll down if you're ready to find out just how clever you really are....

First Question:

You are participating in a race!

You overtake the second person.

What position are you in?

Scroll down to view the correct answer.

(scroll down)

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If you answered that you are second, then you are absolutely correct!

If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well said, there's no answer to this question.

How can anyone overtake the LAST person?

That's just not possible at all.

You're very good at this, are you?

:-))

Quick, let's go to the next question.

Third Question:

Add these numbers in your head

as quickly as possible

Do NOT use paper and pencil

or a calculator..

10% of the people can correctly answer

the next question in 5 seconds...

20% of the people can answer it in 10 seconds...

70% of the people either takes time to answer

or have answered them incorrectly...

Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.

Now add another 1000 .

Now add 30.

Add another 1000.

Now add 20 .

Now add another 1000

Now add 10 .

What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.....

(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters:

1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Scroll down for answer.....

Others have answered "Nunu", but that is just wrong.

Her name is Mary. Mary is one of the five daughters.

(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, the bonus round:

Amute person goes into a shop

and wants to buy a toothbrush.

By imitating the action of brushing his teeth

he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper

and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop

who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses;

how does HE indicate what he wants?

(scroll down)

He just has to open his mouth and ask....

It's really very simple....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, January 18, 2010

Philippines in the Old Days

Do you recognize this place?

There were no Metro Aides, Bayani Fernando Cleaners, and stores cleaned their areas. Pedestrians were also very disciplined. Very little “hukays” and Manholes were clean and were clearly visible to pedestrians. People were so disciplined. Take a look at the Pedxings. The streets were shiny, much like the streets of Singapore now.

LYRIC Theatre (in the photo below), IDEAL, STATE, ODEON were the best theatres. Environment inside and outside ....absolutely clean. There were no double parking allowed and drivers followed. Streets didn’t have 2 policemen and 4 Traffic Aides for each corner. You’d be safe even if you held a clutch bag while shopping. Manholes were covered well and during those days, I remember them....as clean and polished, much like those you’d see in Champ Elysee’. We could beat Paris . Ang ganda ng bayan natin noon.

Dencia’s was famous for Pansit Mami, much like Mamonluk or Ricebowl. P1.50 ang Mami, 10 sentimo ang coca cola. 5 centimo ang sarsaparilla. This was very near Villalobos and Carriedo. Look at the jeepneys. They were not overloaded.

Pasig was very clean. The photographer must have taken this photo (below) October to December timeframe. But Pasig , during summer would have beautiful water lilies, tiny Quiapo’s floating amidst white, yellow and purple water lilies that I remember. Water from our rich and abundant rivers were emerald green and blue. Napakalinis and walang amoy.

Manila was just a beautiful place.

If you’d take an L5 plane or a Piper Cab and take pictures of Dewey Boulevard (now Roxas Boulevard) from above, you’d be so proud to say, that the place is much better than Cote’ d Azure. Environment was just so very clean, air was refreshing, and take a look at the sea....wasn’t that a gift given to us during those days?!

Sidewalks were not extended to suit the pedestrians. Quiapo Church was a blessed monument. Nagbibigayan ang mga drivers. Bihira ang nag-gigitgitan.

Avenida Rizal was a treat to everyone. There were no prostitutes nor body-brokers. Avenida was not a fickle place. It was not a “now a bistro boulevard, tomorrow a street; now a tiangge or night market and tomorrow a bistro boulevard”. It was a simple avenida where everyone enjoyed to see what was “now showing”, what movie was “extended showing”, and if Otis or Good Earth had a big sale !!! It was just a big clean place.

Ayala Avenue was just like Wilshire Boulevard . Clean and no pollution. You can walk and enjoy the sun. Napakalinis. Walang masyadong Trash bins pero walang basura sa paligid.

Even Parks like Fort Santiago was much better. No vendors, no cafe’s. There was not even an ATM machine. Malinis ang paligid..

And then, we had more technocrats, more intelligent people educated here and......... ......... . stateside.

What did we do to our environment ?

Sayang. We saw a country that was much cleaner, a much better place to live in and a truly healthy place.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Yaya Jokes

HAHAHA... Sobrang funny si Yaya

Yaya buys food at McDo.
Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?”
Yaya: “Puwede sa table?”

Kid: “Yaya look, boats!”
Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.”
Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?”
Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”

My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
Our yaya came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!”

Yaya: “Huhuhu…”
Ate: “O, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
Ate: “Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?”
Yaya: “Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.”
Ate: “O, bakit ka di makatulog?”
Yaya: “Kasi po may pinoproblema ako…”
Ate: “Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”

(Earlier) Mom: “Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!”
(Later) Son: “Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?”
Yaya: “Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!”

Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
I angrily asked her, “Paano mo naman nasunog to?”
She answered: “Secret!”

After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
“Ang pangit naman, happy ending!”

Sir: “Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!”
Yaya: “Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!”

Mom: “Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!”
Yaya: “Ano po lulutuin ko?”
Mom: “It’s up to you.”
(During dinner) Mom: “Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?”
Yaya: “Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko, sabi niyo, ‘kitsup tuyo’!”

Our neighbor’s yaya: “Junjun, chew your mouth!”

Our yaya sa sari-sari store: “Miss isang Coke in can at isang Sprite na Coke in can…”

SIR: “Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!”
INDAY: “Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?”
SIR: “Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!”
INDAY: “Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin…kapkeyk…”

I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
She answered: “Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?”

“O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!”
Ate: “Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!”

We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: “Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?”
Yaya: “Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, ‘concentrate’…”

Neighbor’s yaya telling the dog to climb down the stairs:
“Down to earth! Down to earth!”

My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
“Ma’am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!”

We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya’s son.
So one day I was reviewing him: “The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.
Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?” His mom, our yaya, answered:
“Parang Watson’s yata…”

Sir: “Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?”
Yaya: “Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!”
Sir: “Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?”
Yaya: “Gunting, kuya! Gunting!”

Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”
Driver: “Ikaw lang?” Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”

Kid: “Yaya, spell orange?”
Yaya: “Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?”

Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
“Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!”

Yaya to my brother: “Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?”
Bro: “Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!”

(after being scolded for breaking her promises):
“Ma’am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit…promise!”

AMO: “Bakit namatay ang aso?”
MAID: “Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.”
AMO: “Nakamamatay ba yun?”
MAID: “Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.”

Yaya picking up the phone saying: “ Hilo ?”
We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
We told her, “Yaya, baliktad!”
Then Yaya said: “Lohi?”

Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a sentence.
Yaya: Sir! viry easy! iksample nagring yung phone,
(ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered, " HILO , WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"

Drink Water on Empty Stomach

This is a very informative content...pls do read till the end and do try to adopt this habbit.

See how it goes.....no harm....you would probably gain something out of it.

DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value.. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases: Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

METHOD OF TREATMENT

As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water
Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute
After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases:

High Blood Pressure (30 days)
Gastric (10 days)
Diabetes (30 days)
Constipation (10 days)
Cancer (180 days)
TB (90 days)
Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards – daily.

This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times. It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.

This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ..not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain...

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks:

Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting,
Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

How Can You Manage Your Stress?

Background of the stress-test:

Look at the 3 pictures. The more the figures are moving, the more stressed are you.

Tests among murder-convicted people has shown that the first eight "circles" are moving very fast round.

How Can You Manage Your Stress?

avoid stressful situations
avoid extremes
change how you react to stress
set realistic goals
set priorities
take control of the situation
manage how stress affects you
discover new relaxation techniques
change how you see the situation
figure out what's most important
sleep
exercise

“How heavy is this glass of water?”

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked,

“How heavy is this glass of water?”

The answers ranged from 20g to 500 g. The lecturer replied,

“The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When you’re refreshed, you can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!”

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